Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

Just Be You!

Psalms 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (NIV).

Knowing who you are is important. It reveals your strengths, weaknesses, gifts, and talents. However, if you do not know or understand who you are, you mask the very things that make you unique.

When a person experiences trauma and does not receive healing, it often leaves the person broken and open to negative ideas and beliefs about themselves. This was me and I did not like myself at all. I did not like my complexion, my height, and I did not believe I was smart. I would look at others and envy them, which caused more insecurity. There was a time when I did not know who I was, so I acted like who I thought I should be or who people thought I should be.

It was not until I learned who I was in Christ, that I realized I can be just who I am regardless of who likes it or not. This was not an overnight process; it took many years. I learned to look in the mirror love myself and believe what God said about me. I learned God made me just the way I was for a reason. I am happy to say that I am not at all the person I used to be. I love myself issues and all!

There is NO ONE like you and that in and of itself is a blessing. It means, when God created you he had a specific idea in mind. It also means, only you can do what you do. He has a specific purpose for your life and He wants you to accomplish it.

I encourage you to learn who you really are. To seek the Lord and find out what His purpose is for your life. Be the person God created you to be! He wants it for you!

Blessings.

Darlene
#healedtospeak

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

Be Healed…Be Free

My prayer for this blog is to impart into you as God imparts into me. Last week, the Lord allowed me to share some of my childhood experiences with you. I mentioned I would write about healing to tie in the mental health aspect. However, while writing and watching the movie “The Shack,” I felt God shifting my message very strongly. I will still discuss healing, but not mental health.
I know there was some controversy from the Christian community about some of the themes in the movie, but I believe there were still some biblical truths one could glean.
Pain…it comes in many forms and happens at different stages of life. It can occur in childhood or adulthood and can take the form of rejection, the loss of a loved one, a broken relationship, sickness, and sometimes a misunderstanding. No matter what form, it hurts and if we do not take the necessary steps to heal from our pain, our entire lives can be affected and become infected with frustration, anger, self-doubt, bitterness and mental anguish.
The pain my mother inflicted caused me to be broken for a long time. I did not experience love as a child, so as an adult, I sought it out in wrong ways. After my last horribly broken relationship, I recall sitting on the floor of my apartment weeping my eyes out asking God to help me. At that moment, I realized I had to get to the root of my pain and it started with my mother. In that instant, I forgave her. Later, the Lord showed me the pain that was inflicted on my mother in her childhood. She needed healing, but did not know how to get it; therefore, she released it on me. One day, we had an open-heart conversation and it was the first time in her life, she was able to open up. She was free and so was I. I was grateful and humbled for that time spent as a year later, she passed away unexpectantly. In that moment I learned how important it was to receive healing and have closure. I had peace in my soul.
Though my mother’s life improved over time, she never lived the life God intended; and that my friend is what pain does if we do not take the time to heal from it. It distracts us from our true purpose. This is not what God wants for you. He wants you to be free. He wants to break the cycle that causes us to make bad decisions or repeated behaviors. When we only see through the prism of our pain, we do not see the whole picture. I promise you, the picture God has for your life is much bigger than your pain.
No matter the type of pain you have experienced, Jesus loves you and wants the very best for your life. You were not designed to carry the weight of your pain; it is too much for you to bear. So “cast your cares upon the Lord because he cares for you” I Peter 5:7. God cares for us so much that “He keeps track of all our sorrows. He has collected our tears in his bottle. He has recorded each one in His book.” Psalms 56:8.
If you need to forgive yourself, please do. If you need to ask for forgiveness do that too. If you need to cry, talk, or yell out, God is waiting to hear from you. I encourage you to reach out to him so he can heal you. Forgiveness can be instantaneous and sometimes a journey, but regardless of the progress, you have to forgive, because it will bring freedom and wholeness. 
I hope in your spare time you will watch the movie. It covers so much. I do not want to give anything away, but I believe in can be an open the door to your healing.
I love you all,
Darlene
#healedtospeak
Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

This Issue From My Heart

Before mental health week concludes, I want to share a little of my heart on the issue. This subject is loaded and I will not be able to expound on all the things I want to discuss. This post will have two parts, as I believe mental health and internal healing go hand-in-hand. Please know I am not writing to provide answers, but to provoke a discussion about a sensitive topic.

Nowadays, mental illness is a subject discussed more openly; however, there are still several myths about it. Some of the myths include mental illness being a personal weakness, individuals can get by without professional help, mental illness is one’s own fault, children are unaffected by mental health issues and finally, mental illness is shameful.

Based on my personal experience, I can tell you each of the myths are just that, myths. I grew up with a mother who suffered from mental illness. At the time (early 80’s), mental illness was taboo. Those around her knew something was wrong, but was too afraid to confront it. She was ridiculed, misunderstood, and stigmatized. Some of her outbursts occurred before people I knew, and that did not help because then it got around that my mother was crazy. I could not comprehend the severity of her issues.

Due to her illness, I experienced sexual, emotional and physical abuse and it went on for years. On more than one occasion, I recall my mother going through various fits of rage. The situation became increasingly dangerous and she was sent to a mental institution. After she was sent away, I expected some type of explanation, but no one spoke to me about what the problem was, so for some time, I thought it was me. Much later in her life, it was determined that she suffered with bipolar disorder among other things. Unfortunately, by the time she was diagnosed (well into her 50’s), she was not interested in being medicated, so she attempted to handle her issues on her own, which did not work out very well.

So why are these myths untrue, first, though my mother was sick, she could not get well on her own and she needed professional help, not just medication, but internal healing too. Second, I never viewed my mother as being weak, but as broken, and she needed to be “fixed”. I never thought her outbursts were her fault, but I wondered what happened to make her this way (and I did find out later in my life). Third, children are profoundly affected by people around them who suffer with mental illness. I kept a secret, and I carried that weight well into my adult years and it affected me in ways I did not understand until I sought healing. Finally, more people suffer from mental conditions than we think and it is not shameful, but a cry for help.

My personal experience fuels my passion for understanding and helping others especially women, who suffer. I did not write this post to gain sympathy because I have been healed by the grace of God and I know he uses our pain as a platform to bless others. I decided to write this post to let you know that no matter what you experience, you can overcome and to let you know that mental illness is a real issue. Whether it is your passion or not, each of us can play a part in helping someone get the assistance they need. I believe we must be sensitive enough to recognize the signs of someone who is struggling. It is in no way to stigmatize them, but to provide a safe place for those who are suffering and to continue the conversation. Because we are our brother’s keeper, we have a responsibility to help those who suffer from any illness or circumstance.

Blessings.

Darlene
#healedtospeak

Galatians 6:2
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (New International Version).

For additional information, I invite you to read more about mental illness by clicking on one of the websites below:

 

 

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

Remember To Be Content

 

During this season of my life, I have the honor of staying home. That means I am a full-time housewife. I have been working since I was 15 years old and it is the first time in my life in which I have the privilege of staying home. I was excited about not having to get up at 5 am each morning, working until five or six pm, going home, cooking dinner, and then catching up on college work as an online student, all the while attempting to run a small business. Then finally going to bed at 12 am only to do it all again the next day. I was worn out so many days and wondered when would I finally get a reprieve. Well…as of February of this year, my prayers were answered. Right now, I have the honor of waking up in the morning and cooking a hot breakfast for my family. Packing a healthy lunch and actually have a conversation with them without having to rush out the door. I am able to walk my children to the bus stop, which is right outside my home. I come home and have quiet time (which is a joy for me). I get to clean my home in peace (and I like cleaning). Later in the day, I get my boys from the bus stop, talk with them about their day and help them with their homework. I get to have dinner done at 4:30 pm on school nights and I do not have to figure out what meal I can make in 20 minutes or less. More importantly, I get to watch how content my boys are. Simply because I am home to take care of them.
However, after the sixth month of being a housewife, I must admit, I was beginning to complain. As I was in prayer, God spoke to me and said, after all that praying, I give you what you ask for and you are murmuring. My goodness, it was a hard pill to swallow. I repented and realized I was throwing away a precious time in my life. If the most important people in my life, which are my children and husband are content, why can’t I be? I immediately, “woke up” and now have a renewed sense of purpose when it comes to being home. I get to pray…alone. Take a nap…alone. Clean…alone…and just be alone! This is MY SEASON to enjoy and I intend to enjoy it as long as the Lord allows because I realize seasons do change and it will not always be this way.
I write this to remind you as God had to remind me, to be content with whatever state you find yourself in. Philippians 4:12-13 says. “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Blessing.

Darlene
#healedtospeak