Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

My struggle with Mother’s Day

I love the Golden Girls! To this day, I watch episodes almost every night before I go to bed; I love it just that much. Not too long ago, I watched an episode of the ladies recounting their Mother’s Day stories. I laughed most of the way through and at that moment, the Lord showed me myself laughing. I know he took that moment to show me how far I had come. You see for about 20 years, I hated Mother’s Day. While most people around me were happy, I wasn’t.

I never wanted to go to church because there was always a program focused on Mother’s. No matter how much I tried, I could not enjoy it because of the lack of relationship I had with my mother. Later in life, my mother and I began to build a relationship. I was overjoyed and looked forward to us spending our first Mother’s Day together. Unfortunately, before that could happen, she suffered a horrific accident and died unexpectedly. Every Mother’s Day after that I hated it even more. I was so depressed as I watched Mothers and daughters love each other that day. It was a reminder of what I never had and what I craved so desperately.

God has definitely healed my heart as each year is better than the year before, but I still don’t look forward to the day. I am grateful to be honored by my husband and children, but we know nothing takes the place of the relationship with your mother. It is a loss that will always be felt.

Some of you may not share similar feelings as to why you dislike Mother’s Day, but no matter what your reason I can relate to your pain. Perhaps you don’t hate the day, but it is a reminder of the mother you loved and lost. I want to encourage you this week to enjoy the day anyway.

I will keep you in prayer as we get through this day together. My prayer is that we would feel the Lord’s presence as he holds our hearts in his hand not only during this week but for as long we need.

Happy Mother’s Day!
Love you all,
Darlene
#healedtospeak

 

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

Change is Coming…

Hello Family!

I pray each of you are well.

 

Please forgive me. I have not posted in about a month. Quite frankly, I was in a bit of a tail-spin and decided I need to pray regarding direction for many things including my blog.

 

The Healed to Speak blog will be on temporary hiatus. I am taking my blog in a different direction and it is going to take some time to get it where I want it to be. Please bear with me during this transition.

 

Ultimately, the goal of my blog is to glorify God and uplift women, however, I know I can do this in many ways. The revamped blog will include organizational tips, tips for mommies, single life, married life and a HOST of other topics.

 

I hope you have been happy with the current blog content. If you like, you may click here to view previous posts.

 

Please keep me in prayer as I go through this transition. We know anything great takes times to build. I will be active on FB and posting comments as God leads.

 

Love you all,
Darlene

 

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

Ready…Set…Goals!

Time is moving so fast! Can you believe we are in the middle of March? I enjoy this season; flowers and trees are beginning to bloom, and daylight savings time is here! Each year I look forward to the changes spring brings.

Since I am writing about the incoming season, I thought I would ask you a question. How are you doing with the goals you set for yourself this year? Are on track? Have you stalled? Are you happy with where you are? Have you given up? Did you create any goals?

I believe this will be a year of great release, but I also believe many of those releases will not manifest if we are not diligently doing our part. No matter where you are in the process, I hope you are moving. Movement is so important. When we move we are making progress regardless of how small the movement is.

One of my goals this year is to lose 50 pounds. I said to myself last year, that no matter what, I was going to get the weight off. I tried many things, but nothing I tried was working, so I decided to join a gym and three weeks ago I did. It has been the best thing. I already lost four pounds in two weeks and I only did the treadmill for 60 minutes four days a week. When I lost those four pounds I felt liberated! I know I looked insane in front of my doctor when I got weighed, but I could not help it. I saw movement and movement gives you the fortitude and faith to keep going. A couple weeks ago, I met with a trainer who gave me wonderful information and I have already incorporated her knowledge and expertise into my workout. I am excited!  

I want to encourage you. If you have fallen off in terms of your goals, get back up and finish! Don’t give up. Keep moving forward. If you got off track, get back on. Write the book, start the business, start the ministry, go after your dream job, lose the weight, strengthen your walk with Christ. Whatever your goals are get started and keep going. You don’t want December to get here and have regrets.

If you haven’t created any goals create one right now! However, as you plan remember Proverbs 16:3, which states, “commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”

Now, please know there will be setbacks. I am not saying this to discourage you, but to let you know that whenever we attempt to do better, there will always be a pull to either stop or hinder you, but please don’t let it. If you have experienced setbacks, get back up and keep fighting.

Map out your goals and write down the steps so you may finish before the year is out! Whether you use a vision board, PowerPoint, or just a plain piece of paper, writing down what you want to do is important as it is a small step towards the final goal.

Remember small steps over time become giant leaps!

Love you all,

Darlene
#healedtospeak

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

Are you on the run?

I Samuel 15:22 – “Tell me,” Samuel said. “Does the LORD really want sacrifices and offerings? No! He doesn’t want your sacrifices. He wants you to obey him.

Why do we run from God? Are we afraid? Do we think we know what’s best? Do we believe there is nothing he can really do for us? Have we allowed negative life circumstances to pull us away? Has the success of this life caused us to slowly run away? No matter what the reason, we must be sure that as believers we keep our focus which means keeping our eyes on Christ. It also means being obedient to what he tells us to do.

In last week’s post, I briefly mentioned my process to healing. In the beginning, I ran to God. I was excited and could not wait to go on the journey, however, when God began telling me things I needed to change and the people I needed to let go, I was scared; so instead of being obedient and moving toward God, I pulled away.
One of the things that caused me to run was a relationship. I was with someone I knew I no longer needed to be with, but the relationship gave me a sense of security (though it was false) and I stayed. One Sunday while in church my pastor at the time was teaching on getting rid of wrong people in your life. I knew God was speaking through him regarding my personal life and at that moment, I decided when I got home that day, I would tell this person our relationship was over.
I had such joy in my heart I almost skipped home. When I got to my apartment, I walked in and immediately shared what was on my heart. He was upset and said many things. He said so much that I began questioning God and decided to stay with the person. BUT, deep down in my soul, I KNEW nothing positive could become of it.
For the next month or so I was miserable. I no longer wanted to be with him and each day the feeling got worse. On top of that, each week when I went to church, I was reminded of my disobedience by not ending the relationship when God told me to. About two months later, I had enough and told him it was over, and I meant it (and he knew it). It was the best feeling because I was free. When he left, I repented to God for my disobedience and I began moving forward.
But, for not listening when I should have, I endured unnecessary fear and turmoil and it was my fault.
No matter what God is telling you, listen and move; no exceptions. I certainly understand the decision will be difficult, but if you do not listen to the instruction the consequences will be worse.
God ALWAYS has a better plan. God told me to let go because he wanted me healed and free. Funny thing is I asked God to help me heal and get free, but when he presented the plan, I didn’t obey and I ran. Funny how when we pray we don’t expect the answer to the prayer to be difficult. God is funny that way…
God always knows what’s best for our lives and he expects us to trust him. Even when we don’t trust Him his grace is there, but there WILL be consequences that may take us years to recover from.
Remember…obedience is better than sacrifice.
Blessings.
Darlene
#healedtospeak
Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

Why I Started My Blog…

I had a childhood full of abuse and pain. As I got older, I dealt with many residual issues because of it. I did not trust people, I did not feel safe physically or emotionally, I got into wrong relationships intimately, socially and spiritually; I looked for love from people instead of receiving love from God, I did not like myself, I did not think I was pretty, I did not believe I was intelligent. When I got close to someone, it was easy for me to throw them away at the slightest notion that they would hurt me. I smiled through so many tears. I was depressed a lot and I felt I could trust NO ONE with my private struggles, secrets, and fears.

For years, I went to church as a completely broken person. Many times, I went to the altar for prayer and comfort, but many times felt nothing. I felt like I could not take one more thing; but ONE DAY, it all changed. One Sunday I remember there was an altar call
(I don’t remember what for). I pretty much ran down the aisle praying to God that he would use someone to help me, and that day He did.

A woman of God came up to me and the first words out of her mouth were, “God loves you.” I remember immediately breaking down and crying uncontrollably. It was the first time I heard those words and it was like God was whispering it to me and me only. And that day began my long journey to healing.

Several years after the Lord delivered me from many of my issues (I still have more 😊), I realized other women were experiencing some of the same pain I did. I learned women were broken and needed to talk, cry, scream and let it out. I learned many women sought healing, but did not know how to get it, where to get it, or how to let God in to receive it. Several women from my job, on the street, from almost anywhere and any age would begin talking to me and sharing their very personal stories. It took me a moment to catch on and realize God was using me as a listening ear. It was easy for me to listen because I knew the pain associated with not being able to talk and the pain of holding in secrets.

I started this blog to let women in pain know I LOVE them and I understand their pain. I know what it is like not to feel love, to go after love and receive hurt, not to trust and then smile through depression and tears while raising a child. I know what it is like to use relationships and material things to fill a void that only God can fill. I know what it is like to run from God out of fear that he will take things away; and I know what it is like to run back to him and then run away from him again.

I started this blog to tell women to drop the misconceptions of who you are supposed to be and just be who God created you to be. I created this blog to let women know you can be healed, but the choice is yours.

I started this blog to let women know that when you are finally healed, you will still be a work in progress…and IT IS OKAY. Just keep your faith and trust in Jesus. As we go through life we learn some things happen instantaneously and other times it is a process. It is the same with the healing journey. It is God’s will that we are healed, but the process is different for each individual. I started this blog to let you know I am here for you; whether it’s talking praying or just simply listening, I am here to help you through your journey as God sees fit for me to help.

Most importantly, I created this blog because God called me to. He decided to use me as a vessel to let you know He wants you to be healed. He has great plans for your life. His plans are so great that you cannot fathom them in your heart. Jesus is the ULTIMATE healer and I would not be healed if it was not for His love, grace, and patience towards me. And I want you to know he will extend the same love, grace, and patience towards you through your journey to healing.

I am grateful for the opportunity.

I truly love you all,
Darlene
#healedtospeak