Happy Labor Day! Today is week eleven of the Marriage Lessons.
Lesson 11. Being married to someone called to ministry is another level of sacrifice…work together
I was already in love and engaged for over a year; there was no turning back. We had faced so much in just one year of being engaged and I had no idea why. But I remember the day God revealed the reason and I remember it well. Someone I loved and trusted looked at the both of us and said, He’s called to be a pastor, and God has sent you to protect his heart and his blind side.” We both stood there stunned, eyes wide open.
After I let her words settle in, I became angry because long before I dated, I told God I did not want to be married to someone called to ministry. Truth is, I wanted my husband all to myself. I did not know much about ministry, but I knew I would have to share, and I knew there would be a level of sacrifice. However, the day I stood at the altar and said my vows, I knew my husband was called to ministry and I accepted it. However, I did not realize that meant I was called too.
I learned early, by way of watching successful married couples in ministry, the demands of it all. I learned women may be attracted to my spouse and not because of the calling God has on his life. I learned that when your spouse gets attacked spirituality, it will affect you too.
I learned it’s not always about you. I learned you must be mature and know who you are in Christ, so you can fulfill the destiny God has ordained for your life. I learned that understanding your spiritual gift will make it easier to understand your spouses’ gift. I learned to pray and ask for patience to deal with my husband when he is experiencing different emotions or mood swings because of the demands of his calling. And I learned to pray for my own emotions, so I can help him and not hinder him. Thankfully, I learned all this before anything became official.
Finally, I learned if your mate has a calling, you do too, and it will mean compromising, but not all the time. When it comes to marriage and ministry, there is no blueprint, but I have learned over the years to seek God’s wisdom and Godly advice. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.” One way to have success in marriage and ministry is understanding there is a time for everything. A time to minister, but also a time just for you and your spouse.
In some ways, a minister’s role is like being married to a doctor, lawyer, or any other professional that touches people’s lives. You must learn to balance it all with God’s help. Some professionals deal with the body, while a minister of the Lord deals with the soul.
Don’t expect to get it right all the time. Strive to do your best while keeping your marriage first and God at the center.
My Marriage Lesson & Your Marriage Lesson
1. Know who you’re marrying and prepare
2. Seek God for wisdom if your spouse is called to ministry or any other demanding career
3. It will take time and understanding; ask God for patience – Seek out Godly people with the same scenario
4. Your journey is your own