Marriage Lessons (12-week series)-Week 6

Hello Friends! It is week six of the Marriage Lessons!  Below is this weeks lesson. If you missed it, please read last week’s lesson titled Your marriage should be first…

Lesson 6. Your marriage should be private (with some exceptions)

Every marriage has problems and your job is to submit those problems to the Lord, not to share them with friends, family, co-workers, or your parents. Sometimes sharing your private matters can be a detrimental mistake. In some instances, after you share certain details about your spouse, the individual may have a different and negative perspective about him.

Keeping your marriage private is a lesson I learned very early in my marriage. Before my husband and I wed, we faced some financial obstacles in preparing for the wedding. I shared some of the details with a few people helping me with my wedding and thought that was as far as the conversation would go. A few weeks later, someone that I never speak with approached me and said, “don’t worry about the financial issues you had, you’re married now.” I was in complete shock! I said to myself NEVER AGAIN. I learned if you cannot trust someone with an insignificant issue, you certainly cannot trust them with an important one.

After some time, I realized there were exceptions. There were times I needed advice and sometimes I needed to vent.  In those instances, I learned to ask God for wisdom about who to talk with. James 1:5 says, “if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” It took a while, but God showed me who I could speak with and who I could trust.

**If you are being threatened or harmed in any way, it is imperative that you seek help immediately. Your life is more important than keeping a secret that threatens your life.

If your situation is critical, and you must speak with someone sooner rather than later, professional counseling is another option. Professional counselors take an oath not to share your information.

As a Christian married couple, it is important to have someone you can confide in. The bible tells us in Galatians 6:2, “carry each other’s burdens and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” As believers, we need each other. God does not desire that we go through every situation alone, but the key is seeking God about who you desire to help you carry your burdens.

My Marriage Lesson and Your Marriage Lesson
1. Keep your marriage private
2. Seek God for wisdom about who to speak with
3. Professional Counseling is okay

Scriptures:
Proverbs 11:14
Proverbs 27:17
Galatians 6:2
James 5:16

 

Marriage Lessons (12-week series)-Week 2

“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12

 Hello everyone!  Hope you enjoyed last week’s marriage lesson. If you did not have an opportunity to read it, don’t miss these valuable nuggets! Today begins week two of the marriage lesson. Enjoy!

 2. God must be at the center of your marriage (no exceptions).

Before embarking on a new endeavor such as starting a business, having a child, or investing it is important to do your research.

Some believe marrying the person God has ordained for them guarantees a smooth marriage, but I can tell you from personal experience, that is incorrect. You can read books, talk to married couples, and attend marriage seminars, all of which are helpful, but you will still encounter issues on your journey.

In our marriage, my husband and I participated in counseling, we read books, and I read plenty of books on my own, but it did not compare to being in the actual marriage. We quickly learned we had to think differently. But knowing it in your head and acting it out are two different things.

For the first five years of our marriage…yes five, my husband and I had many bumps in the road. I did not realize it would be difficult making the adjustment. There were aspects of marriage I looked forward to such as intimacy, cooking, and taking care of my family. But there were aspects that were harder to figure out like how to blend our families, how to make time for each other, how to deal with our exes, and how to balance church activities.

In the beginning, we did everything on our own not realizing we were leaving God out of the triple-braided cord. Sometimes my husband made major decisions without talking to me and the results were disastrous. It also allowed the enemy to get in and attack us as a couple and individually. How in the world could we conquer anything if we were not standing together?

We knew we could not have a successful marriage continuing the way we were. At that point, we put God in the center of our marriage. This meant when decisions needed to be made, we had to pray first, wait for an answer, and move forward together. There were times I did not agree with decisions my husband made, but I learned the agreement was more important than the decision. As a wife, I learned if I didn’t agree, my job was to pray. God ALWAYS came through for me when I relied on him. And this was better than complaining and nagging. When the decision turned out to be right I praised God and my husband, but when it was wrong, I still loved on my husband and God in his grace and mercy, fixed it (in His time). As Christians, we must remember that in our bad decisions, God works everything out for our good.

It is very easy to lose focus and do everything except what you should be doing, therefore, keeping God at the center must be intentional. After twelve years, we are still learning to keep God at the center. One thing about God, he will allow you to go around the same mountain until you pass the test. So it is best to get it right on the first try, but I thank God for his grace on the second…and third try.

My Lesson Learned
1. Seek God together – It doesn’t mean everyday single day, (if you can, great), but make praying together a priority. It will keep your marriage on track
2. Be intentional about your marriage. Sit down and make decisions together, when it doesn’t work out, keeping seeking God, because it will eventually.
3. Do your best to learn the lesson the first time, but God’s grace is sufficient on the second and third tries

Your Lesson
1. Take time this week to seek God together
2. Although making the decision is important, agreement is the goal
3. If you or your spouse do not agree, pray (individually and together if you can)
4. Do your best to learn the lesson the first time 😊

Prayer
Father, in the name of Jesus, I thank you for my spouse. When we must make difficult decisions, help us to rely on you for the answer. More importantly God, help us to walk in agreement, because when we do, you will bless us. I thank you God for the grace and mercy you have bestowed on us. Help us to always keep you in the center of our marriage because doing so will cause us to flourish. And father forgive us when the decisions are not right. I thank you in advance for your grace and mercy that will help us stand together and get through it. In Jesus Name.


Scripture References
Ecclesiastes 4:12
Romans 8:28
Matthew 18:19

Love you all
Darlene
Healed To Speak