Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

Why I Started My Blog…

I had a childhood full of abuse and pain. As I got older, I dealt with many residual issues because of it. I did not trust people, I did not feel safe physically or emotionally, I got into wrong relationships intimately, socially and spiritually; I looked for love from people instead of receiving love from God, I did not like myself, I did not think I was pretty, I did not believe I was intelligent. When I got close to someone, it was easy for me to throw them away at the slightest notion that they would hurt me. I smiled through so many tears. I was depressed a lot and I felt I could trust NO ONE with my private struggles, secrets, and fears.

For years, I went to church as a completely broken person. Many times, I went to the altar for prayer and comfort, but many times felt nothing. I felt like I could not take one more thing; but ONE DAY, it all changed. One Sunday I remember there was an altar call
(I don’t remember what for). I pretty much ran down the aisle praying to God that he would use someone to help me, and that day He did.

A woman of God came up to me and the first words out of her mouth were, “God loves you.” I remember immediately breaking down and crying uncontrollably. It was the first time I heard those words and it was like God was whispering it to me and me only. And that day began my long journey to healing.

Several years after the Lord delivered me from many of my issues (I still have more 😊), I realized other women were experiencing some of the same pain I did. I learned women were broken and needed to talk, cry, scream and let it out. I learned many women sought healing, but did not know how to get it, where to get it, or how to let God in to receive it. Several women from my job, on the street, from almost anywhere and any age would begin talking to me and sharing their very personal stories. It took me a moment to catch on and realize God was using me as a listening ear. It was easy for me to listen because I knew the pain associated with not being able to talk and the pain of holding in secrets.

I started this blog to let women in pain know I LOVE them and I understand their pain. I know what it is like not to feel love, to go after love and receive hurt, not to trust and then smile through depression and tears while raising a child. I know what it is like to use relationships and material things to fill a void that only God can fill. I know what it is like to run from God out of fear that he will take things away; and I know what it is like to run back to him and then run away from him again.

I started this blog to tell women to drop the misconceptions of who you are supposed to be and just be who God created you to be. I created this blog to let women know you can be healed, but the choice is yours.

I started this blog to let women know that when you are finally healed, you will still be a work in progress…and IT IS OKAY. Just keep your faith and trust in Jesus. As we go through life we learn some things happen instantaneously and other times it is a process. It is the same with the healing journey. It is God’s will that we are healed, but the process is different for each individual. I started this blog to let you know I am here for you; whether it’s talking praying or just simply listening, I am here to help you through your journey as God sees fit for me to help.

Most importantly, I created this blog because God called me to. He decided to use me as a vessel to let you know He wants you to be healed. He has great plans for your life. His plans are so great that you cannot fathom them in your heart. Jesus is the ULTIMATE healer and I would not be healed if it was not for His love, grace, and patience towards me. And I want you to know he will extend the same love, grace, and patience towards you through your journey to healing.

I am grateful for the opportunity.

I truly love you all,
Darlene
#healedtospeak

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

Perfect Weakness

II Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

I am amazed at how far the Lord has taken me. From a little girl who suffered unspeakable acts of abuse, rejection, and shame to a person who understands God’s love for her. From a person who did not believe she would ever receive love to a person who is married with her own family. From a person who did not believe she had gifts and callings to a woman who is using one of those gifts in which I am writing to you.

Then there are times I am amazed at how far I have to go. Those moments when I act in a way that is not pleasing to God. Those moments when I tell God I trust Him, yet my actions do not line up to what I speak out of my mouth. Those times in which I surprise myself by my own actions. Although I have been healed to speak, there are still areas of my life the Lord is still dealing with me about.

It is in those moments, I understand two things. First, God’s strength is made perfect in my weakness and second, His grace is sufficient for me.

No matter how mature we are in God, no matter what vision the Lord has given us and no matter what our calling is in Christ, there will always be areas we are weak and parts of our soul that require brokenness before the Lord.

Be humble, be a blessing and boast in your weaknesses so our God may be glorified. Let those around you know you were not always the person they see. Tell them there are times you struggle with the old you who still likes to show up. Then tell them you are grateful to God for the new creature you are in Christ, according to II Corinthians 5:7. Tell them it is not because of anything you did, but because of his grace towards you. Tell them it is the same grace that he will extend towards them according to Ephesians 2:8-9.

Someone is depending on your story. Are you willing to be open and share it? Are you willing to show your imperfections in order to show God’s perfection?

Blessings.

Darlene
#healedtospeak

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

Can You Carry Me?

Galatians 6:2 – Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

I often write on the subject of healing. I do this because of my own personal experiences. I also write on the subject because of the hurt God allows me to see in others. There are so many people walking around wounded and damaged. They have smiles on their faces, but their hearts are broken. They are defeated, depressed and suicidal yet many times will never show it.  If we are not sensitive to the needs of others, (especially Christians) we can miss it.

For years, I walked around completely broken. I sought healing but at the time, I did not know how to go to God to receive my healing, so I sought it out in people. Unfortunately, I did not find the healing I needed and this happened for several reasons.

Many years after my own healing process, I realized there were others who experienced the same types of pain I did. Pain from their childhood, church, relationships, abuse and so on. My past pain made me sensitive to the current pain of others.

Each of us bear a responsibility to help those who are hurt. Sometimes people need to talk and we just need to listen. Then there are times a person will need more than just talking, and when we cannot help, we should point them in the direction of someone who can. How many of us have been too busy in our own lives to stop and listen to the burdens of others? How many of us have acted as if it is a hassle to listen? How many of us take the time to talk to someone with no agenda, other than the place of God’s love for others? How many times have we exchanged pleasantries such as “how are you?” the individual responds “fine” and we move right along without giving an actual thought to whether they are truly fine or not? Sometimes we forget life is not always about us.

Each of us has the power to help someone through the most difficult seasons of his or her life. Each of us can assist someone through their process of healing and let them know they are not alone. Can we be sensitive enough to see and to help? We need each other to survive. We cannot walk through this life alone. 

Think about those moments you needed someone. When someone asked how you were doing and you responded fine knowing you were not. Despite whether or not you would vent to the person, there were times you needed to talk, but no one was there.  I understand there are times the Lord isolates us so we may draw closer to him, however, he also commanded us to “carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ” according to Galatians 6:2. 

We do not need to vent our issues each time and we should always be careful of who we vent our issues to, but there will be times we need a listening ear and an encouraging word. Philippians 2:4 says, “each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Will you answer the call and be there for someone else? My prayer is we all will.

Blessings.

Darlene
#healedtospeak

 

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

What Did God Tell You?

 
II Kings 20:5 – This is what the LORD, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you.

Six weeks ago, I found out I had to get all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I have to admit I was terrified. I have never had any issues with my teeth, not a cavity…nothing; so finding out I had to get something done did not make me happy. Three weeks later, I reluctantly scheduled the extraction surgery. On Monday, January 15, I went into the office wide-eyed and terrified, but after the procedure was re-explained, I was more relaxed; especially since my husband was in the room with me.

As the dental technician began prepping me, the dreaded question came that a lot of women hate and that is “what is your weight?” To be honest, for the last 6 years I have come to HATE that question. I never did before, but after I had my second child, I had many complications that have spilled over and remained even after he was born and my weight has been one of them.

I told him my weight and there was silence. It bothered me slightly, but I let it go because I know I have been working on it. Again, they are taking my blood pressure and for some reason, it is exceptionally high, which is very in usual. After 30 minutes of observing my pressure to see if it would decrease, It did not, so I decided to use wisdom and come back another time. On January 22, I returned to the office with no fear, sat in the chair and the dental technician began the drill of hooking me up and starting an IV. This time the dentist enters the room and again the dreaded question comes, “what is your weight?” I answered and again silence.

Once again, my pressure is up. Now I am frustrated wondering what is going on! I take my health seriously and I have never been careless, so now I am truly confused. After an hour of poking me with IV’s and giving me medication that was supposed to lower my pressure, again I decided I did not want to proceed and I would reschedule the appointment. At this point, quite honestly, I was frustrated.  I have been doing the right things and I cannot believe the struggle I have been experiencing trying to lose this weight.

Now, I understand any physician stating the facts and I believe it is important; however, I could tell the dentist was anxious about wanting to say something about my weight. The doctor looks at me and says, “your pressure is up because you have to change your lifestyle.” “You don’t take care of yourself and if I proceed with the surgery, you can die right here on the table or have a stroke.” I walked out of the office, walked to my car and silently cried.

I trust and believe in God and quoting His word, but at the time, I was completely devastated and I allowed my emotions to get the best of me. It was not until about midnight as I was in prayer that the Lord said, “what is it that I told you?” At that moment, my faith was lifted and I began to write to you.

This is what I feel led to leave with you. If you KNOW you are doing what you SHOULD and you are still not seeing the results regardless if it is your weight, finances, job, marriage, or whatever, you keep fighting the good fight of faith because GOD SEES ALL and KNOWS ALL.. All God’s promises made to you are YES and AMEN according to II Corinthians 1:20.

God knows what I have been doing as it relates to my health and by faith, I am healed and free in Jesus Name. So whatever you face, remember what God said about the situation not man. It does not matter what it looks like. He may delay what he told you, but He will never deny you.

Blessings.

Darlene
#healedtospeak


Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

God Didn’t Make Me A Bird

Genesis 50:20 – You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

 
One of my favorite movies is Forest Gump. I have watched it more times than I can count and each time I observe something I did not notice before.
In Forest’ innocence, he did not understand what his best friend Jennie was experiencing at home at the hands of her father. There is a scene in which her father is looking for her; Jenny grabs Forest’ hand and runs through the cornfield. When she stops, she says to Forest “let’s pray to God that he would make me a bird so I can fly far…far away.”
Obviously, God did not turn her into a bird, but he did open the door for her to leave her abusive environment.
God did not make me a bird either; therefore, the scene has great significance to me. I can recall countless times as a child praying to the Lord and asking him to deliver me from my abusive environment, but he didn’t. There were times my circumstances worsened and still, nothing changed. As a child, you cannot comprehend the suffering you experience. I often asked myself, is there a God? If so, where are you? Can you hear me when I pray? Do you care about what is happening to me?
Truth is, He does care and He is there. What the enemy uses to try to kill us, God uses to make us very strong. We serve a sovereign God. He knows all and sees all; however, we live in a world where evil exists, therefore, God reigns on the just and unjust. This means ALL OF US will experience situations we cannot comprehend, but because of God’s grace, he will use those circumstances to build us up, to cause us to walk closer to him and then use it as a platform to help others.
When you look back over your life and think about the worse experiences you have had, you now realize you are stronger than you thought. For some of you, the trial increased your relationship with the Lord. I am sure you also learned something about who you are. That is always God’s plan. He causes all things to work together for us. 
As new problems arise, we must remember our responsibility to respond in the correct manner. We must face our problems with fortitude knowing that our God is using it for us and someone else.
Love you all,
Darlene
#healedtospeak