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An Exercise of the Heart

Over the last six months, I was visiting the gym on a regular basis. In two months, I began to see the physical difference in my mind, body, and attitude. I felt great, looked better, lost weight and gained stamina all while adding years to my life. I realized the benefits of exercising were worth every moment of my soreness and pain.

This summer, after my children finished school, my gym routine took a bit of a hit. I started at four days a week, then three, then one, and then nothing. I began to feel sluggish, tired, and I gained a couple of pounds back. I was so disappointed with myself, but I said it is time to get back on the horse and start over.

As I began caring for my physical body again, I began pondering on the heart, but in a different way. I wondered as Christians are we exercising our hearts spiritually? Are we praying, reading our word, repenting, and forgiving? Evidence of an unhealthy heart are negative words proceeding from our mouths, complaining, and unclean thoughts. These are some of the things that will happen we stop exercising our hearts spiritually.

What do you do when you have gotten off track when it comes to caring for your heart spiritually? Pray, read the Word, and ask for God’s forgiveness. Just like the health benefits for exercising our natural hearts, there are benefits for exercising our hearts spiritually. For example, you speak words of love and wisdom, you give God praise, and you desire to please the Lord.

Psalms 51:10 says, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” This is a scripture we should speak daily. The Bible tells us to fix our hearts on whatever is honorable, right and true, but if our hearts aren’t clean, it is impossible to do that.

There will be times our routine can suddenly change and it may interfere with our prayer life, worship or church activities, but we must be diligent about keeping a healthy heart because our entire life depends on it.

Scriptures
Psalm 51:10 “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me”

Matthew 15:18-20 “But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. 20 These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.”

Philippians 4:8 “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

Psalm 51:17 – “The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.”

 

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Marriage Lessons- Week 12

I am overjoyed. This is the final week of the Marriage Lessons. God is so good. I have been encouraged and uplifted as you have read, liked, commented, and followed my posts. I am grateful for every obstacle I faced in my marriage; whether it was my fault or just our journey. God has once again proven himself to be faithful. Today’s final lesson in the series is…

Lesson 12. NEVER GIVE UP

NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR MARRIAGE. Sometimes this is easier said than done. When I look back over the most tumultuous circumstances my husband and I faced, I am grateful we trusted God and walked through it. Sure, I did not feel that way while experiencing it, but I am better for it and so is my marriage. Those trials made us stronger as individuals. Our faith was made stronger and our commitment to each other deepened. Your marriage is worth fighting for. Your children are worth fighting for. If no one else is on your side, God is! Ask him for help, ask him for guidance, and ask Him for grace to get you through…when you don’t want to.

The scripture I leave with you today is found in Romans 12:12 and it says, Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”

My Marriage Lesson & Your Lesson
1. Never give up

Scripture:
Romans 12:12

Now, let’s recap on the eleven lessons discussed over the past twelve weeks….

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Marriage Lessons-(12-week-series)-Week 11

Happy Labor Day! Today is week eleven of the Marriage Lessons.

Lesson 11.    Being married to someone called to ministry is another level of sacrifice…work together

I was already in love and engaged for over a year; there was no turning back. We had faced so much in just one year of being engaged and I had no idea why. But I remember the day God revealed the reason and I remember it well. Someone I loved and trusted looked at the both of us and said, He’s called to be a pastor, and God has sent you to protect his heart and his blind side.” We both stood there stunned, eyes wide open.

After I let her words settle in, I became angry because long before I dated, I told God I did not want to be married to someone called to ministry. Truth is, I wanted my husband all to myself. I did not know much about ministry, but I knew I would have to share, and I knew there would be a level of sacrifice. However, the day I stood at the altar and said my vows, I knew my husband was called to ministry and I accepted it. However, I did not realize that meant I was called too.

I learned early, by way of watching successful married couples in ministry, the demands of it all. I learned women may be attracted to my spouse and not because of the calling God has on his life. I learned that when your spouse gets attacked spirituality, it will affect you too.

I learned it’s not always about you. I learned you must be mature and know who you are in Christ, so you can fulfill the destiny God has ordained for your life. I learned that understanding your spiritual gift will make it easier to understand your spouses’ gift. I learned to pray and ask for patience to deal with my husband when he is experiencing different emotions or mood swings because of the demands of his calling. And I learned to pray for my own emotions, so I can help him and not hinder him. Thankfully, I learned all this before anything became official.

Finally, I learned if your mate has a calling, you do too, and it will mean compromising, but not all the time. When it comes to marriage and ministry, there is no blueprint, but I have learned over the years to seek God’s wisdom and Godly advice. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.” One way to have success in marriage and ministry is understanding there is a time for everything. A time to minister, but also a time just for you and your spouse.

In some ways, a minister’s role is like being married to a doctor, lawyer, or any other professional that touches people’s lives. You must learn to balance it all with God’s help. Some professionals deal with the body, while a minister of the Lord deals with the soul.

Don’t expect to get it right all the time. Strive to do your best while keeping your marriage first and God at the center.

My Marriage Lesson & Your Marriage Lesson
1. Know who you’re marrying and prepare
2. Seek God for wisdom if your spouse is called to ministry or any other demanding career
3. It will take time and understanding; ask God for patience – Seek out Godly people with the same scenario
4. Your journey is your own

Scriptures
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

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Marriage Lessons-(12-week-series) Week 10

This is week ten of the Marriage Lessons. The lessons are wrapping up quickly. I hope you are being encouraged!

Lesson 10 – Sexual intimacy is a special part of your marriage-ORDAINED BY GOD-…keep it alive

Before marriage, most of us are excited about the intimacy. We look forward to date nights, romantics trysts and everything in between. In my opinion, it seems intimacy would be the easiest aspect of marriage; however, for many reasons, it is not. For most, the beginning is wonderful and full of excitement. But, over time that excitement can fizzle. This can happen because of children, careers, or anything. But to be honest, nothing should get in the way of the intimate aspect of your marriage.

Before I married my husband, we discussed this part of our marriage and what we expected of each other.  We were very excited about what was to come. However, I never considered how difficult making time for intimacy could be. One of our biggest obstacles was blending our families. Before marriage, my husband had two sons ages six and ten and I had one son age eight. His youngest son did not live with us, however, he visited bi-weekly and was autistic. This entire dynamic (that I signed up for) added another layer of stress I did not expect.

There were times I was so exhausted by the time nightfall came, intimacy was out of the question. Not to mention working full-time as well as outside activities. We were eager to be with each other regularly, but there was so much stress dealing with our circumstances that we were both drained. We took time to get away, but for us, it was not enough. After our second year, I realized this part of our marriage was declining and I was not pleased with it and neither was God.

Looking back, I realize no one shared how difficult this part of your marriage could be no matter what the reason. Maybe I could have been prepared (probably not).

Perhaps your issue is not blending your family but making time for your spouse. Maybe you place your job/career ahead of your marriage. Maybe your ministry is first and not your spouse. Perhaps you and your spouse currently do not see eye to eye. Whatever the reason, if you do not take care of this part of your relationship…YOUR MARRIAGE WILL SUFFER because you will give room for the enemy to come in.

So…what do you do if this happens in your marriage? First, pray…ask God to help you and to forgive you. The Bible says in I Corinthians 7:3-5, “The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.”
I encourage you to read the entire scripture here.

Second, have an open and honest discussion with your spouse. Communicate your emotions and pray together. Ask God to help you get back on track. Finally, go back to the beginning. Remember when you could not stay away from each other? You talked on the phone all night, took walks, went on as many dates as you could, spent all your time together, and enjoyed each other’s company. Go back to that! It may not be easy depending on how long you allowed issues and circumstances to overshadow the intimacy, but work at it! Don’t give up! It took time to dig the hole and it will take time to dig out of it. Stay with God and stay with each other and you will reap the benefits.

My Marriage Lesson & Your Marriage Lesson
1. Work at keeping the intimacy alive (if you are not careful, it can die)
2. Keep it fun…keep it spicy
3. Pray when the intimacy is good and when it is not so good (either way, you’re keeping God involved)
4. Counseling is your friend…embrace it; especially if the intimacy in your marriage has gone too far off track

Scriptures
I Corinthians 7:3-5
Proverbs 5:19
Hebrews 13:4

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

Are you on the run?

I Samuel 15:22 – “Tell me,” Samuel said. “Does the LORD really want sacrifices and offerings? No! He doesn’t want your sacrifices. He wants you to obey him.

Why do we run from God? Are we afraid? Do we think we know what’s best? Do we believe there is nothing he can really do for us? Have we allowed negative life circumstances to pull us away? Has the success of this life caused us to slowly run away? No matter what the reason, we must be sure that as believers we keep our focus which means keeping our eyes on Christ. It also means being obedient to what he tells us to do.

In last week’s post, I briefly mentioned my process to healing. In the beginning, I ran to God. I was excited and could not wait to go on the journey, however, when God began telling me things I needed to change and the people I needed to let go, I was scared; so instead of being obedient and moving toward God, I pulled away.
One of the things that caused me to run was a relationship. I was with someone I knew I no longer needed to be with, but the relationship gave me a sense of security (though it was false) and I stayed. One Sunday while in church my pastor at the time was teaching on getting rid of wrong people in your life. I knew God was speaking through him regarding my personal life and at that moment, I decided when I got home that day, I would tell this person our relationship was over.
I had such joy in my heart I almost skipped home. When I got to my apartment, I walked in and immediately shared what was on my heart. He was upset and said many things. He said so much that I began questioning God and decided to stay with the person. BUT, deep down in my soul, I KNEW nothing positive could become of it.
For the next month or so I was miserable. I no longer wanted to be with him and each day the feeling got worse. On top of that, each week when I went to church, I was reminded of my disobedience by not ending the relationship when God told me to. About two months later, I had enough and told him it was over, and I meant it (and he knew it). It was the best feeling because I was free. When he left, I repented to God for my disobedience and I began moving forward.
But, for not listening when I should have, I endured unnecessary fear and turmoil and it was my fault.
No matter what God is telling you, listen and move; no exceptions. I certainly understand the decision will be difficult, but if you do not listen to the instruction the consequences will be worse.
God ALWAYS has a better plan. God told me to let go because he wanted me healed and free. Funny thing is I asked God to help me heal and get free, but when he presented the plan, I didn’t obey and I ran. Funny how when we pray we don’t expect the answer to the prayer to be difficult. God is funny that way…
God always knows what’s best for our lives and he expects us to trust him. Even when we don’t trust Him his grace is there, but there WILL be consequences that may take us years to recover from.
Remember…obedience is better than sacrifice.
Blessings.
Darlene
#healedtospeak