Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

I will never forget my first or my second

Hello everyone. I hope you had a great weekend! Can you believe it’s December? Twenty-two days until Christmas. It is unbelievable how fast the year went by. Are you looking forward to the new year? I am excited for the opportunity to start over. I am ready to accomplish the natural and spiritual goals I’ve set for myself. I am also looking forward to my 13th wedding anniversary. Lord, thank you.

As a ponder over the past twelve years, I am in awe of God’s grace. My husband and I have experienced extreme highs and unbelievable lows, but we did it and stayed together. My marriage was the first positive relationship in my life. Actually, my husband was my first in many ways.

Let me backtrack a bit. God was my first. He was the first person I learned loved me exactly the way I was. As a child, I never had anyone love me that way. Whenever I made a mistake I trembled with fear of harsh reprimand. When it came to God, I was also fearful because I thought if I messed up, he would turn his back on me. However, the day I came into the realization of God’s love for me, it changed my life. I finally understood there was nothing I could do to get God to stop loving me.

After walking with God for several years, I was very secure in his love for me, but I struggled with believing he could send me someone who could love me just the same. I never expressed those feelings to God, but I am so glad he knows the secrets and desires of our hearts.

Psalms 139: 1-2 “Lord, you have examined me and know all about me. You know when I sit down and when I get up. You know my thoughts before I think them.”

Years later, God answered my heart’s desire and sent me a physical example of unconditional love when he brought my husband into my life. I had been healed from so much pain, but there was still some unresolved trauma I was not aware of. It was not until after I married, that those issues resurfaced.  My husband loved me through it all.

The Lord was my first spiritual example of true love and my husband was my spiritual and physical example! Through all of my ups and downs, my husband loved me as Christ loved the church…unconditionally. Sure, we had other issues that had nothing to do with my trauma, but we learned to work through all of it, allowing God to be the third cord in our marriage.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (NLT).

The relationship with my husband taught me how to persevere, sacrifice, and endure; especially when things did not go my way. When you think about it, it is similar to the relationship we have with the Father. We endure trials, tests and hardship, but at the end of it all, we win.

James 2:12 – “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him” (ESV).

God was my first. He loved me, healed me and set me free. My husband was my second. The person God sent to aid in my remaining healing process.

Before dating and most certainly before we wed, it is important we are healed from past issues, otherwise, we will bring those issues into your relationship as I did. However, God is so merciful and full of wisdom that He knew who to send to aid in my healing process. That is His unconditional love. My FIRST love, before I knew that HE was.

God bless you.

 

Photo by Asaf R on Unsplash

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak · 2 Comments

My Marriage journey…again

Hello everyone,

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday filled with love, laughter and most of all thankfulness. I truly love this season. November is a time to be thankful. December is a time to celebrate the birth of our savior, Jesus Christ. And my personal favorite, January, is a time to reflect and celebrate my upcoming wedding anniversary!

On January 14, 2019, I’ll be married for 13 years. YAY! For some people, this may not seem like much, but for me, it means a lot. There was a time I did not think we would make it, BUT God!

A few months back, I discussed the 12 lessons I learned in twelve years of marriage. I received a lot of positive feedback, and I pray my sharing was a blessing to those of you who are married and for those of you who desire to be.

However, as I reflect on my almost 13 years of marriage, I have learned another major lesson. The lesson I have learned is…

Lesson 13. – I am still a work in progress…

Philippians 1:6: …“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” (NLT).

With all that God has allowed me to learn in my marriage, I still have a lot to learn. I still have areas that need changing. I still need to learn patience. Though I listen to the Holy Spirit, (most of the time), I still need to watch what I say.

A few years ago, knowing this would have made me feel defeated. But now, I feel grateful. I am not the person I was at the beginning of my marriage. I am excited to share in this journey with the man God blessed me with, and I am thankful I still have the opportunity to get it right. Glory to our God!

My husband and I, like all married couples, faced many difficult challenges. But I would not change any part of our journey. It is what makes us unique, and it is what makes us sensitive to other married couples.

When I finished my Marriage Lessons blog posts, I was happy to move on to the next subject. But the subject of marriage stayed on my heart. Therefore, if God sees fit to use me to speak on the subject, I will submit to his will and trust the process. It is not because I know everything, but because the lessons I have learned, in part, saved my marriage.

Marriage is the one relationship that is meant to mirror Christ, yet many marriages do not. My husband and I are much better than we were twelve years ago, but as I mentioned, each of us are a work in progress. It is my hope and prayer that by sharing my journey once again, you will begin to desire the type of marriage God intended.

As my anniversary approaches, I hope you don’t mind if I share my journey with you. The journey of my work in progress that will lead to our 13th wedding anniversary and beyond!

Blessings.

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak · 2 Comments

A reminder from my eight-year-old

I am so grateful for my children. All five of them are unique in their own way and a blessing to me in many ways.

My children and I always talk. It is something I cherish because I did not have it with my parents. My youngest son, who is eight, likes to talk the most. For an eight-year-old, he has such profound insight and it amazes me. He reminds me of myself at that age as God allowed me to see things that most adults did not see. Unfortunately, I could not express what I saw. As a result of my experience, I allow my children to speak what is on their heart and mind…most of the time. 😊

A few days ago, my youngest and I were talking about his eldest brother who is twenty-five and experiencing his own life struggles. I said to him, “Your big brother is going through a lot right now.” He said, “I know, but people think life is over when bad things happen, but there is always a blessing after the bad.” I looked at him and told him he was correct!

Psalms 127:3 – “Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him” (NLT).

God is amazing! He will use anyone to remind us of his word, even our children.
His statement was a reminder of God’s love, and grace towards us even in difficult times.

As Christians, we will endure trials because the Word tells us so. I Peter 1:6 says, “Be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while” (NLT).

However, when experiencing a trial, the difficulty comes when the trial lasts for more than a day, a week, a month or a year. The key to success while going through any trial is consistently praying and studying the Word of God.

God will use the most difficult times in our lives to stretch us in our spiritual walk and teach us how to trust him on a deeper level. We must keep our focus on Christ alone. If our focus shifts elsewhere, we open ourselves up to discouragement and feelings of defeat.

But I encourage you to stay with God. I thank God that negative circumstances are only designed to build us up, not to destroy us. The trial is only for a season. As my son Jeremiah said, “there is always a blessing after the bad.” When we come out on the other side of it, we will be better.  Job 23:10 says, “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.”

These days, as we watch the news, we can be saddened and discouraged by what we see and hear. But we must remember God has a blessing after the bad.

John 16:33 – …“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (NIV).

 

 

Photo by Jeremy Gallman on Unsplash

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak · 2 Comments

Sometimes THIS is all you need

Hello friends! I pray each of you are well…Can you believe its October 1st!

On Thursday, September 20th until Friday, September 28th, my family and I went on a long overdue family vacation! It was wonderful, and it was just what we needed. It is amazing how you can allow life to dictate what you should be doing, instead of having faith in God about what you need to be doing.

It had been over seven years since my family took an official vacation. We took weekend trips and some overnight stays each year, but nothing for an extended period. None of us truly realized how much we needed to get away until we went away.

We did not do a whole lot of things, but what we did was meaningful to us. We hung out with one of our favorite couples, my husband and I ate at our favorite Vietnamese restaurant, I had a Philly soft pretzel, Herr’s potato chips, and Wawa coffee (my Philly peeps understand).

Later that week we went to the beach and God blessed us with three days of unseasonably warm temperatures. We visited the local zoo for a donation of just $1 and it was beautiful; we saw a turtle flip onto its back and then get rescued by zookeepers (see video below). The entire week was simply splendid, and we were grateful.

The best part of our vacation was visiting one of our favorite churches. My entire family was blessed by the word that was brought forth. The word of God preached was directly what we were facing in our personal lives and it only confirmed why we needed a vacation. The message preached also confirmed why we faced so much opposition when planning our vacation.

When you are facing opposition from all sides, we should absolutely pray, read the Word, and gain strength from the Body of Christ. But there will be times that all you need is a vacation; time to regroup, and then get back to the tasks at hand.

We must remember with everything we do in life, work, family, church, etc., we must enjoy life. God actually commands it. Ecclesiastes 3:12-13, says, …“I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.”

Remember…even God took rest on the seventh day!

Blessings.

Scriptures
Ecclesiastes 3:12-13

Turtle video (don’t mind my son, he really enjoyed it) 🙂

 

 

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak · 2 Comments

An Exercise of the Heart

Over the last six months, I was visiting the gym on a regular basis. In two months, I began to see the physical difference in my mind, body, and attitude. I felt great, looked better, lost weight and gained stamina all while adding years to my life. I realized the benefits of exercising were worth every moment of my soreness and pain.

This summer, after my children finished school, my gym routine took a bit of a hit. I started at four days a week, then three, then one, and then nothing. I began to feel sluggish, tired, and I gained a couple of pounds back. I was so disappointed with myself, but I said it is time to get back on the horse and start over.

As I began caring for my physical body again, I began pondering on the heart, but in a different way. I wondered as Christians are we exercising our hearts spiritually? Are we praying, reading our word, repenting, and forgiving? Evidence of an unhealthy heart are negative words proceeding from our mouths, complaining, and unclean thoughts. These are some of the things that will happen we stop exercising our hearts spiritually.

What do you do when you have gotten off track when it comes to caring for your heart spiritually? Pray, read the Word, and ask for God’s forgiveness. Just like the health benefits for exercising our natural hearts, there are benefits for exercising our hearts spiritually. For example, you speak words of love and wisdom, you give God praise, and you desire to please the Lord.

Psalms 51:10 says, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” This is a scripture we should speak daily. The Bible tells us to fix our hearts on whatever is honorable, right and true, but if our hearts aren’t clean, it is impossible to do that.

There will be times our routine can suddenly change and it may interfere with our prayer life, worship or church activities, but we must be diligent about keeping a healthy heart because our entire life depends on it.

Scriptures
Psalm 51:10 “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me”

Matthew 15:18-20 “But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. 20 These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.”

Philippians 4:8 “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

Psalm 51:17 – “The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.”