Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak · 1 Comment

Transition

Hello everyone! How are you? I hope you had a wonderful Christmas.

In a few hours it will be 2019. How are you feeling? Are you excited? I am grateful for the opportunity to be alive, because it means God is not done with my life or yours. However, I am also uncertain about what the New Year will bring.

The last two years of my life have been full of transition. In the beginning, it was marvelous, joyous and amazing. However, the second half was filled with uncertainty, pain, and loneliness. I never knew that transition ordained by God could cause so much pain.

When God is doing something new in us, we are excited about it. But we only want the good parts. The parts that won’t hurt or cause us to change. But the hard part is what God uses to transition us into the person He desires us to be.

I began to ponder on the process of transition and God brought the birth process to my mind. When a woman finds out she’s pregnant, it is a time of joy (most times). During the first trimester, she may experience nausea, but other than it is glorious. She has her first ultrasound, hears the heartbeat, and finds out the sex. It is exciting.

The second trimester brings little discomfort. The baby is constantly growing. You feel flutters and kicking, all while enjoying this perfect gift from God. You have cravings and don’t feel as guilty about eating the foods you want (Well, I didn’t 😊).

The third trimester, for most women, is the time of their greatest discomfort. You may have some fear as you don’t know what it will be like as the birthing process for each woman is different. Your extremities may be swollen. You are tired of carrying the extra weight. You are tired. Your belly is big and heavy. It is hard to sleep. You are ALWAYS using the facilities. The baby is continuously moving, because he or she is running out of space. Not long after, a woman’s water breaks and the real work begins.

It is during this process most women want it to be over. The pain…oh the pain. You are excited to meet your baby and you have been waiting for this moment. However, during this time, the pain you experience is at its highest peak. All this is happening while your blessing is arriving. And this is exactly what transition is. The process is joyous, uncomfortable, painful, and then joyful again.

John 16:21 – “When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.”

My transition is still very uncomfortable, and I want it to be over. But I am learning that when things are most painful, it means I am close to the finish line. It means my blessing is near.

Just because the clock turns twelve does not mean all of our problems will suddenly disappear. It does not mean your transition is over. Nor does it mean if things are good right now, it won’t change as the New Year begins. As we continue to walk with Christ, we will always be in a state of transition. I encourage you to keep going and NEVER give up. Have faith, cry, shout, pray, and cry some more if you must, but continue moving forward in Christ. Your blessing is coming…the promise is coming.

Romans 8:18 – “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

As we end 2018, I want to leave my favorite scripture with you:

Jeremiah 29:11-13 – “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”

Happy New Year! No matter where you find yourself, God has great things in store for YOU! See you next year!

Darlene

 

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

I will never forget my first or my second

Hello everyone. I hope you had a great weekend! Can you believe it’s December? Twenty-two days until Christmas. It is unbelievable how fast the year went by. Are you looking forward to the new year? I am excited for the opportunity to start over. I am ready to accomplish the natural and spiritual goals I’ve set for myself. I am also looking forward to my 13th wedding anniversary. Lord, thank you.

As a ponder over the past twelve years, I am in awe of God’s grace. My husband and I have experienced extreme highs and unbelievable lows, but we did it and stayed together. My marriage was the first positive relationship in my life. Actually, my husband was my first in many ways.

Let me backtrack a bit. God was my first. He was the first person I learned loved me exactly the way I was. As a child, I never had anyone love me that way. Whenever I made a mistake I trembled with fear of harsh reprimand. When it came to God, I was also fearful because I thought if I messed up, he would turn his back on me. However, the day I came into the realization of God’s love for me, it changed my life. I finally understood there was nothing I could do to get God to stop loving me.

After walking with God for several years, I was very secure in his love for me, but I struggled with believing he could send me someone who could love me just the same. I never expressed those feelings to God, but I am so glad he knows the secrets and desires of our hearts.

Psalms 139: 1-2 “Lord, you have examined me and know all about me. You know when I sit down and when I get up. You know my thoughts before I think them.”

Years later, God answered my heart’s desire and sent me a physical example of unconditional love when he brought my husband into my life. I had been healed from so much pain, but there was still some unresolved trauma I was not aware of. It was not until after I married, that those issues resurfaced.  My husband loved me through it all.

The Lord was my first spiritual example of true love and my husband was my spiritual and physical example! Through all of my ups and downs, my husband loved me as Christ loved the church…unconditionally. Sure, we had other issues that had nothing to do with my trauma, but we learned to work through all of it, allowing God to be the third cord in our marriage.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (NLT).

The relationship with my husband taught me how to persevere, sacrifice, and endure; especially when things did not go my way. When you think about it, it is similar to the relationship we have with the Father. We endure trials, tests and hardship, but at the end of it all, we win.

James 2:12 – “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him” (ESV).

God was my first. He loved me, healed me and set me free. My husband was my second. The person God sent to aid in my remaining healing process.

Before dating and most certainly before we wed, it is important we are healed from past issues, otherwise, we will bring those issues into your relationship as I did. However, God is so merciful and full of wisdom that He knew who to send to aid in my healing process. That is His unconditional love. My FIRST love, before I knew that HE was.

God bless you.

 

Photo by Asaf R on Unsplash

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hello everyone! How are you on this Thanksgiving afternoon? 😊 I hope you are feeling blessed. I live in Georgia and the weather is beautiful today. The temperature will be about 60 and that is my husband’s favorite kind of weather. Later today, he will be outside on our deck grilling duck! Not my cup of tea, but it makes him happy.

I have been up since 6 am preparing for the day. A day of chopping, cooking, and cleaning; but most of all, giving thanks. As I cook, I am thankful for simply having food on my table with enough to feed my family and plenty of leftovers. Growing up, my Thanksgivings did not feel this way. The Thanksgivings I remember were filled with nervousness and anxiety because everything had to be perfect. Food cooked perfectly, the right outfit, and I had to be sure I said the right things.

Ephesians 5:20 – “Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (NIV).

I am thankful that as I cook for my family, each of my children enjoys lending a hand in the kitchen. The oldest keeps it clean as I move from dish to dish. My little ones don’t ask for much because they understand the magnitude of what’s happening in the kitchen and that alone is helpful. Besides, they know the mac and cheese is coming…

I am thankful that my Thanksgiving is easy going. My children don’t have to worry about being dressed “properly” and doing and saying the right things. I am thankful that my home is full of God’s peace and joy.

My prayer as each of us prepares for Thanksgiving, is that we focus on what matters. It’s not the perfect turkey, the perfect meal or the perfect outfit. What matters is that you are here another year with the ability to give thanks to our God.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

I’m thankful for…

Hello all, I hope you had a wonderful weekend and are preparing for Thanksgiving! Like many people, I enjoy this time of year. I enjoy it most because I can spend uninterrupted time with my family as well as reflect on God’s goodness.

This year, I am thankful for many things. One of the things I am most thankful for is YOU! I am thankful that you take time to read, like, and comment on my posts. I am thankful for the opportunity to express myself. I am grateful I have met bloggers all over the world as a result of stepping out on faith and starting my blog. I am thankful to have other bloggers who have the same goal; to share the love of Christ.

I want to take the time to say THANK YOU! Your support means more than you will ever know. You never know who you are impacting by doing the small things. For me, the small thing is reading my posts.

Thank you!

No matter where you find yourself in life’s journey, my prayer for you during this season is that you give thanks. Give thanks for the great things and the small. Give thanks that God has not given up on you. Give thanks that he loves you with an everlasting love. Give thanks our Lord is coming back for his church real soon. Finally, give thanks that he has given all of us an opportunity to share our faith about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Once again…THANK YOU. Enjoy your Thanksgiving

 

 

 

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Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak · 9 Comments

What’s the Secret…

To Forgiveness?

I have written on this subject before, but I believe as Christians it is a subject we need to discuss more often.

When I think back on all the pain I endured as a child, it is still horrifying. I am grateful to God that I have been healed. However, every now and then when I think about it, I am saddened by the childhood I lost. And I am saddened because it was lost by the hands of my mother; the person who was supposed to love me more than any person, the person who carried and birthed me, the one person you can never replace. She hurt me time and time again.

I can recall so clearly, the night my mother made me sleep outside. My mother, brother, and I were playing around. As she tickled me, she thought she heard me say she was nothing. She asked me to repeat what I said, and I said “nothing.” She said, “What did you say?” I said, “nothing.” She said, “So you’re calling me nothing?” I said, “No.” In a moment, things went from happy to sad to terrifying.

She told me to get out! I was bewildered because I did not understand what just happened. It was cold that night. I remember crying and asking God…why but, no answer. Sometime later, she came outside and said, “You can come in, but you have to sleep on the floor.” I was terrified to come in but grateful to get out of the cold. I reluctantly went upstairs and laid on the floor next to my brother’s bed. He held my hand that night. I thank God he held my hand. I don’t remember going to sleep, but I am sure I did.

Over 20 years later, my mother and I were speaking on the phone and she poured out her heart to me in repentance. As she spoke, I heard the deep ocean of her heart. Before she could finish her sentence, I stopped her and said, “Mom, I forgave you a long time ago.” There was silence.

When my mother passed away, my heart was so full. Sure, I was disappointed that I never had a chance to have the relationship I desired to have with her, but my heart was free because before she closed her eyes in death, I had already forgiven her; and she knew it.

The day she died, I stood next to her hospital bed and whispered in her ear, “I love you, I don’t hold anything against you.” I had forgiven her years before, but I felt the need to say it again. One hour after I left the hospital, I received the call from the doctors. My heart broke, and I cried, but deep down I had peace. And I still do.

So…what’s my secret to forgiveness? Just do it! Forgive. I know it seems easier said than done, but forgiveness is a decision. It’s for you, not for the other person. Ask yourself, have you gained anything by holding unforgiveness in your heart? Has your life improved? Do you feel better? I doubt it! As a child, I could not understand why certain things happened to me. But as a saved adult, I chose to simply forgive; to love her and let it go.

I know you are hurt, and I understand. Perhaps we don’t share the same reasons why, but pain is pain. And remember Jesus, died to deliver you from that pain. He desires that you be healed and free.

Be honest with God; tell him it’s hard to forgive but forgive anyway. Mark 11:25 says, “And whenever you stand praying, forgive if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

Unforgiveness causes distress of the soul, and that is not God’s will for our lives. Psalm, 118:5 says, “Out of my distress I called on the LORD; the LORD answered me and set me free.” Call on him, so he can set you free.

 

 

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