Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

"Let The Past Die"

 
Isaiah 43:18 – Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
 

“Let the Past Die” is a line spoken by one of the characters in the most recent movie Star Wars: The Last Jedi. It is my husbands’ FAVORITE line in the entire movie and it has much relevance and truth.

The bible tells us not to dwell on the past. Dwelling on past mistakes, failures or relationships will hinder us from moving forward and pressing towards what God truly has for us. Therefore, we must let go with the assurance that the Lord has something better.

About 17 years ago, I recall trying to hold onto a relationship that was completely wrong (hindsight is always 20/20). The main reason I wanted to hold on was because he was the father of my first-born child and quite honestly, I did not want to be alone and pregnant. I also did not want the stigma associated with being a single mother; so at the time it was easier to hold onto something that I knew was not real rather than face my reality.
After a couple years, the relationship ended; however, I still did not get the hint. Although we were no longer together, I held on anyway. In my mind, things would work out no matter how many people he dated and regardless of what his mother and others told me.
Two years later, when I finally had enough, I decided to let go. Unfortunately, I did not leave unscathed. It took many years to heal from the issues I endured in the relationship and it was my fault. Much later, I wondered what baggage I would have avoided if I had left sooner. During my time of singleness, I learned how to enjoy it. I learned how to walk with God, raise my son on my own and be happy. When I felt condemned because of my mistakes, I learned to forgive myself and decided I would not dwell on the past. This is exactly what God wants us to do. Repent and keep it moving.
Five years later, as I was living my life and minding God’s business, He sent my husband.  
It is interesting how tightly we hold on to the things God wants us to let go. With our finite minds, we believe we know what is best and we sometimes believe we cannot live without the thing the Lord wants to take from us.
How many of us have held on to something and not let go? We know it is not working, but because of fear, embarrassment or familiarity, we hold on anyway.  Perhaps it is not a relationship but a dead end job or a friendship. Is it time to let go? I guarantee you based on God’s word that he is about to bless you, but only if you release the past to Him and let it go!
Love you all
Darlene
#healedtospeak
Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

God, I Did It Right This Time…

            Psalm 34:18 – The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

 

After being married for almost a year, I became pregnant with my first child. I was elated and a little scared at the same time because it had been ten years since that last time I was pregnant; but I was ready.

I thought to myself, this time I do not have to hide my belly; this time I can tell people; this time I am married and I have a man who truly loves me and is just as excited as I am about bringing a new life into the world. This time I am happy.

Then on Friday, November 23, 2007, it all changed. I went to work feeling good, but as the day progressed, I began to feel worse. I experienced cramping and later spotting. After I got home, I told my husband what I was experiencing and we reluctantly went to the emergency room.
We went to the hospital that evening and spoke with a cold and unsympathetic doctor who told us we were experiencing a miscarriage. I could not believe it and neither did my husband. Earlier that day, I had a feeling that it was happening but did not want to believe it so I prayed against it. Unfortunately, the miscarriage was becoming my truth.
How did things change so suddenly? This morning, I was happy with anticipation and by evening I had a feeling of grief so deep I could not share it enough to articulate. As the weekend slowly wore on, my heartbreak increased. Then, finally, it was over. I visited the doctor on Monday morning and there was no more baby. My brokenness was unbearable.
Then I thought, “God, I did it right this time.” I got married first and then had my baby. “Why is this happening?” “Did God love me?” If so, “Why did he allow this?” “Was I being punished for the things I did in my past?” “Is this punishment for having my first child out of wedlock?” “God Why?”
So…what do you do when you “do it right” and it still does not work out? You stand, trust and believe God’s plan for your life. Seems easy, but it is not especially when you are in the midst of your pain.  There are so many scriptures I could give, that give credence to this, but the one that comes to mind is one of my favorites which is Jeremiah 29:11, “for I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
A year later, I became pregnant again and we had our first son and two years after that, God gave me another baby that was part of His plan, but certainly not part of ours…lol…Praise God.

God gave me double for my pain and beauty for my ashes.  

The pain of losing a child never goes away, but I have peace knowing that I will see her at the appointed time. The bottom line is God is always in control even when things are out of control. He has a perfect plan that will always benefit us. However, it does not mean we will not experience pain to get to joy. But we still must trust the plan.

Love you all,

Darlene
#healedtospeak

 

 

 

 

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

So Emotional…

Proverbs 25:28 “a person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls” (NLT).

We must identify why we feel what we feel and get to the root of it. As women, we have many emotions and I believe God has designed us that way. Our emotions make us unique and we should embrace them; however, we must be cognizant of not allowing our emotions to control us.

On December 12th as I was cleaning and organizing files in preparation for the New Year, I came across my mother’s death certificate. As soon as I saw it, I began to ball my eyes out. I did not expect such raw emotions to emerge and I was actually surprised. When I was done, I prayed and asked God to continue to heal my heart. Although I finished crying, I was experiencing a heavy weight of sadness for the rest of the day.

Later in the day, the Lord blessed my heart regarding another matter and I wanted to share it with my husband. When he came home, he asked “babe, what happened today” and I proceeded to share it with him. As I was speaking, I noticed he seemed “out of it” or rather disinterested. It upset me, so I stood up abruptly and walked angrily to my bedroom. As soon as I laid down on the bed the Holy Spirit said, “there is no reason to be upset with him” and I immediately knew why. Truth is, he was not disinterested, but tired and I could tell from the moment he walked in the door, but I proceeded to talk anyway. Second, what was actually bothering me is I was still sad regarding the loss of my mother. After identifying the root of why I was sad, I apologized to my husband and received the comfort I needed.

If I had not been obedient to the voice of God I would have gone to bed upset with my husband over something that did not exist. More importantly, I would have been disobedient to God. If we do not control our God-given emotions we will be ruled by them! Having out of control emotions can lead to divorce, misunderstandings, arguments, job loss, jail and saying things we are bound to regret.

How many times have we done something in the heat of the moment and regretted it later? I am sure each of us has. We must remember our emotions are valid and given to us by God. However, our emotions are fleeting and we cannot rely upon nor be ruled by them.

My prayer is each of us learns how to rule over our emotions so we can be pleasing to the Father and a blessing to those around us.

Love you all,

Darlene
#healedtospeak

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

Forgive or Not To Forgive…Choose

Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (NIV).

In this week’s video, I discuss why we must forgive and the consequences of unforgiveness. When we do not forgive, we risk bitterness of soul, sickness and disease, and God not extending his forgiveness towards us. No matter the offense, forgiveness must be apart of our daily walk as it is not just for the person, but for us too.

Definition of Forgiveness – The intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, let’s go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.” – Wikipedia

Love you all,

Darlene
#healedtospeak

 

 

Posted on by darleneishealedtospeak

Did You Forget?

A few days ago, I was watching television with a friend. It was one of my favorite sitcoms from the 80’s. (I will not reveal the show because it is not the purpose of this writing). In one of the scenes, a female character appeared. I said, “oh, I remember her” then my friend said, “I don’t like her.” I asked why and my friend said, “You don’t remember what she did in real life?” I recalled the incident my friend was speaking of and it was over 25 years ago! What immediately came to mind is why we remember the worst in people and not the best. When we think of those who have wronged others, or us we tend to remember the incident and forget about who the person truly is.

Why do we remember the negative things people do? Why do we hold onto the memory? Does it provide a sense of comfort? Does it remind us not to get hurt the same way again? Is it a reminder not to trust again? Do we feel justified to hold onto the memory?

Some time ago, I was hurt deeply by someone I loved. Each time I saw the person, I could only remember the hurt. Though I forgave them, it was difficult to get past the offense. It was not until I hurt someone else that the Lord began to show me my own heart. How ironic that we want the same forgiveness extended to us that we are not willing to extend to others. How would we feel if each time we came to God about something, he reminded us of the sin we committed against him?

The Lord loves us so much that when we sin against him and repent he forgives and forgets our sin. Isaiah 43:25 states, “I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again” (NLT). What a blessing it is to serve God and not man!

Each of us must get to the point where we look at those who have hurt us through the lens of God. It is not always easy to do, but when we need forgiveness and for the offense we committed to be forgotten, we can look back and remember we have extended the same to those who have offended us.

Now, I am not saying that once someone has wronged us we should open ourselves up to be hurt again. However, we must use wisdom and discern the true intentions of the person; but it still does not give us permission to hold onto negative memories and ponder them in our hearts.

Isaiah 43:18 says, “remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old.” This means we should forget the things behind us and look ahead.

 

I encourage you to look ahead today!
Blessings.
Darlene
#healedtospeak